As papal documents go, Humanae vitae (On Human Life) is short, readable and understandable.
As it reaches the 50th anniversary of being issued it provides both a summary of the Church’s longstanding teaching on marriage and sexuality and a way forward in addressing many of the challenges surrounding marriage and families today.
That this encyclical remains as relevant now as when Blessed Pope Paul VI issued it, deep in the days of the sexual revolution, is no doubt a surprise to many who immediately wrote it off, thinking it presented an old fashioned view of marriage, contraception and sexuality in general.
Instead, the Catholic teaching expressed in Humanae vitae, which stands on Scripture and Tradition, remains important and relevant. Basic beliefs in how God made men and women, the nature of human sexuality, the nature of marriage, the nature and meaning of the conjugal act, God’s call to husband and wife to co-create with Him, and the centrality of the family are all intertwined. They speak of a God of love who desires to build a people of love. (USCCB website)
And many have declared Pope Paul VI’s words prophetic in laying out the likely consequences if the Church’s tradition and teaching are ignored.
“I would encourage that Humanae vitae be read in its fullness and not rely on summaries or simplistic headlines often offered by those with personal agendas,” said Bishop Paul Swain.
“It is a prophetic warning by Pope Paul VI which now fifty years later has sadly been realized. Of special note is the lessening of respect of men for women and the breakdown in healthy family relationships. It also is a powerful affirmation of the fruits of mutual self-giving and the complementarity of men and women as God created us to be. Though written fifty years ago, there are many lessons applicable to our day,” Bishop Swain said.
HE WAS RIGHT
That the world is struggling in the very ways the pope articulated seems clear.
“Let them consider how easily this course of action could open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards,” wrote the pope.
The pervasiveness of pornography and the almost daily news of another woman being treated with complete disrespect add to the evidence. Not all of the blame can be placed on artificial contraception, “however, Paul VI was intuiting something of great moment, namely that once we commenced to redefine the nature of the sexual act, we placed ourselves on a very steep and slippery slope toward complete voluntarism, whereby we utterly determine the meaning of sexuality, of marriage, and even of gender,” said Bishop Robert Barron in a Word on Fire column issued last November.
“Fifty years ago, there was little evidence that what Paul VI was predicting would be true,” said Emily Leedom, director of the Office of Marriage, Family and Respect Life for the Diocese of Sioux Falls.
“Now, Catholics and non-Catholics alike read Humanae vitae, look at the world around them and can’t help but say, ‘he was right.’ There’s a sense of vindication in that. I think that simple victory can fuel our hearts to keep fighting the battle,” she said.
While Humanae vitae also provides a way forward, consistent with what the Church has always taught about these matters, families in the Diocese of Sioux Falls still have to live in the world as it is today.
“It seems more challenging now than ever to live a truly authentic Catholic life,” said Dylan Kessler, who with wife Marissa have two young sons and are members at Sacred Heart, Aberdeen.
“It’s a great challenge to seek to raise children in the ways of the Church when we are assailed on all sides by secularism, moral relativism, and increasingly varied interpretations of what it means to live a good life,” he said.
“Perhaps the greatest challenge is to resist the temptation to despair at the world in which our children will grow up. I so desire my children to know as normal those things that ought to be permanent – the Church, marriage, traditional family, and true love, as the Author of Life intended it.”
SIGNS OF HOPE
There truly are signs of hope; examples from those who work with couples in marriage preparation and after.
“We are often inspired by the young couples that come to Catholic Engaged Encounter (CEE) weekends,” said Barbara and Bart Workman who coordinate the CEE weekends in the Diocese of Sioux Falls.
“There are many couples seeking the truth about what the church teaches and they embrace the sacred call to a sacramental marriage. Marital fidelity is a complete giving of ourselves to our spouse,” said the Workmans, who are parishioners at Holy Spirit, Sioux Falls and have two children, one in college and one in high school.
“I see signs of hope in the number of young couples coming to the Church for marriage and those wanting to live the faith authentically,” said Brianna Mueller, who along with husband, Derek, lives on a farm near Ethan, SD. They were married last August and are expecting their first child soon. Brianna directs Youth Discipleship and Ministry, grades 7-12 for Holy Family and Holy Spirit parishes in Mitchell and she is currently a FertilityCare Practitioner Intern soon to finish her certification with final testing in November.
“The Creighton Model FertilityCare System is a response to Humanae vitae,” Mueller said.
“The program does a great job in training their practitioners in Church teachings and documents and how they are significant to the health and well-being of the married couple. I always try and share the fullness of what Natural Family Planning (NFP) offers: free, total, faithful, and fruitful.
“There is a level of evangelization that I did not expect to come from the work, but it does very naturally. So many come to me with a contraceptive mindset and it is extremely scary to step outside of that, and rightfully so, with all the garbage this world feeds us about contraceptives, sex and freedom.
“I meet people where they are at, learn why they are there, and invite them to something more,” Mueller said.
WHAT DOES THE CHURCH ASK?
It is not uncommon for couples seeking marriage in the Church to be surprised at what the church asks of them in preparation for the sacrament. It does so in part to truly uphold the truth and beauty of the sacrament, and in part to help couples honestly be prepared for living out their marriage commitment.
“The diocese has long offered marriage preparation opportunities which include the teachings of Christ through His Church on marriage and sexuality as well as practical considerations of married life,” said Bishop Swain.
“These are presented both by clergy and married couples.
“In his apostolic letter on the family Amoris laetitia Pope Francis called on us to review and update these programs. I appointed a committee to undertake this task. They will soon be making recommendations on how we can improve the substance, approach and effectiveness of marriage preparation programs,” the bishop said.
The Kesslers have been part of that committee working with the Office of Marriage, Family and Respect Life.
“During these conversations with this group, we keep coming back to the fact that it is difficult to tell someone what to expect in marriage before they are married,” said Dylan Kessler.
“It’s tough to communicate to them that you can spend an entire week looking forward to a trip with your spouse, not for the trip itself, but because you’re excited to spend time in the car together just talking. Most engaged couples won’t understand that true love is not keeping track of whose turn it is to get up in middle of the night to take care of a child. True love is knowing which one of you is better at cleaning up the vomit on the floor and which one is better suited to comforting the sick child. True joy in a marriage is listening to your oldest child tell you how much Jesus loves him or seeing the excitement in your youngest child’s face when he realizes that every one of the stations of the cross statues in the church contains Jesus.
“Married life isn’t able to be captured in a social media post. It’s best measured in the little moments of everyday joy that are simply too beautiful to ever try to communicate with words,” Kessler said.
In the Workman’s ministry, they try to make sure couples know they are not in it alone by sharing their own fears and doubts.
“There is something authentic about sharing our challenges and how we all can help one another overcome what can feel like an overwhelming obstacle to a joyful marriage,” they said.
“We reveal that in the sacrament of marriage we receive help through the grace given from God. The sacrament of marriage is used to illustrate the relationship between Christ and the Church. Christ loved us so much that He was willing to give himself freely. As husband and wife, we are called to be the example to those around us. Again, we do this with the help of God’s grace through the sacrament,” said the Workmans.
Leedom said the goal of her office is “to reveal the beauty of God’s plan for marriages and families and offer support along the way. Through offerings like “It’s Great to Be You” which teaches adolescents God’s beautiful plan for the human body, intentionally celebrating and holding up milestone anniversaries for couples, and supporting a holistic marriage preparation process, we seek to renew the family.”
WHAT IS MARRIED LOVE?
In the current cultural setting, one finds little in the way of balance or integration – most every aspect of life has been “sexualized”. In addition to pornography and other issues mentioned above, the general sexual objectification of all people, but especially of women and sometimes children, has led to corresponding negative impacts.
By contrast, here is an excerpt from Blessed Pope Paul VI’s section on married love from Humanae vitae:
“This love is above all fully human, a compound of sense and spirit. It is not, then, merely a question of natural instinct or emotional drive. It is also, and above all, an act of the free will, whose trust is such that it is meant not only to survive the joys and sorrows of daily life, but also to grow, so that husband and wife become in a way one heart and one soul, and together attain their human fulfillment.
“It is a love which is total—that very special form of personal friendship in which husband and wife generously share everything, allowing no unreasonable exceptions and not thinking solely of their own convenience. Whoever really loves his partner loves not only for what he receives, but loves that partner for the partner’s own sake, content to be able to enrich the other with the gift of himself.
“Married love is also faithful and exclusive of all other, and this until death. This is how husband and wife understood it on the day on which, fully aware of what they were doing, they freely vowed themselves to one another in marriage. Though this fidelity of husband and wife sometimes presents difficulties, no one has the right to assert that it is impossible; it is, on the contrary, always honorable and meritorious. The example of countless married couples proves not only that fidelity is in accord with the nature of marriage, but also that it is the source of profound and enduring happiness.
“Finally, this love is fruitful. It is not confined wholly to the loving interchange of husband and wife; it also contrives to go beyond this to bring new life into being. Marriage and conjugal love are by their nature ordained toward the procreation and education of children. Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents’ welfare.”
Because of these words, “Now 50 years later, the Church stands unwavering and affirmed in her decision to embrace and uphold life and assisting families to responsibly embrace the gift of life,” said Leedom.
“Though Marissa and I hadn’t sat down to read Humanae vitae in its entirety until this year, so much of our marriage and family life is rooted in what it contains,” said Dylan Kessler.
“Reading the words that have so influenced our relationship made us realize the perfect order that exists within the Church. In this age of moral relativism, it’s more important now than ever that we recall the words and spirit of Humanae vitae and remember that truth is not reliant on popularity, ease or comfort,” Kessler said.
Marissa added, “I think one of the biggest challenges to marriage today is communication. We have so many distractions in our lives that require more of our being to focus on each other and on those things that are most important. It’s so important to us that we teach our children how to communicate, how to share their emotions, and how to love.
“I know that marriage is the purpose of my life. I feel peace in my life and joy in knowing that the family I am raising is in the service of God. I appreciate that Humanae vitae specifically mentions that a marriage is ‘cooperating with God in the generation and rearing of new lives.’ It’s important that we allow God to be a part of the equation through NFP,” she said.
The Workmans said modeling stewardship has helped provide balance and integration in their lives.
“Our children have joined us as we served the Family to Family program by bringing clothes to families in need. This is a small way we live the beatitudes and become the hands of Jesus.
“As a couple we have come to the realization that we can’t serve others if we don’t go back to the spiritual well ourselves. So we are committing to our own spiritual development through retreats and other opportunities provided by the Church.”
The Muellers, still in their first year of marriage, already see the importance of both balance and communication.
“We often take time to discuss the balance in our lives – if we are taking enough time for prayer, family, and each other,” they said.
“Work on the farm or for any business owner is endless, but we have slowly grown to realize that sometimes the work needs to stop for the day to make other things a priority.
“And that is really at the heart of the matter: What do we make a priority? We know we want to keep prayer and family as our main priorities. In order to keep balance you have to make the things most important a priority and follow through. We know there are certain times of the year that are really busy for us and that we need to have a discussion on how to adapt so that our prayer and family life do not suffer.
“It is easy now to find time for each other. Something as simple as going to Mass, getting groceries together, or riding in the tractor can reconnect us” said the Muellers, who know things will change with the arrival of their baby.
“We have talked about how we will have to be more purposeful in making plans to spend time together. We want to have a joy-filled marriage. We make an effort to be kind to each other, let each other know they are appreciated, and take up the opportunities to do the little things,” they said.
THE TIMELESSNESS OF CHURCH TEACHING
Through the years, many otherwise deeply faithful Catholics were caught up in the confusion of the world around matters of sexuality. Each succeeding pope has affirmed the teaching put forth by Paul VI and has sought to clarify the Church’s constant teaching.
“We are called to act on informed consciences which means based on the teachings of the bishops and magisterium,” said Bishop Swain.
“One such important teaching was offered by Pope Saint John Paul II. He taught what has come to be called the Theology of the Body which is a positive and hopeful explanation of the beauty of the human person, sexuality and marriage. There are many written and media resources available that explain his teaching in understandable ways. Theology of the Body is taught in Catholics schools and religious education programs,” he said.
The sense of the timelessness and permanence of the Church’s teaching on marriage, from long before the issuance of Humanae vitae, offers a stability that is key to helping couples preparing for and living out marriage today.
“We agree that hope is the key to understanding the beautiful truth about marital love,” said the Workmans.
“As we approach this milestone, we are comforted in knowing the previous generations have passed on this heavenly gift and it’s up to each of us to pass on this gift to the generations that will follow. We are not discouraged – rather we are hopeful that God will bring this good work to fruition, and 50 years from now the Church will continue to celebrate the joy of marital fidelity,” they said.
Dylan Kessler points out that we all have responsibility to each other and help build up the Church.
“The Church is made up of individuals and relies on strong marriages. The best way we can help build each other up is to engage with one another in an authentic way. Take the time to read Humanae vitae as a couple. Seek out those relationships that you admire and align yourselves with them. Invite those young couples you know over for dinner. Seek to invest in and mentor those couples that are early in their relationships or that may be struggling.
“As the Body of Christ, we are all responsible for each other, and we can only change the culture around us by moving beyond ourselves and reaching out to those that surround us.”