By Lois Heron
We choose a vocation when we become parents, a vocation as old as time and still the most challenging in history! Snazzy books and curricula line library shelves on how to“raise good humans,” but most of those books predominately dress up Aristotle’s philosophy on cultivating good character for souls to flourish. What’s old has always been what’s new, just with more flashing lights!
Let’s return to the roots of Aristotle’s philosophy by examining the moral and human virtues described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) (implicit throughout the Sacred Scriptures).
“Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous [person] is [one] who freely practices the good.
“The moral virtues are acquired by human effort. They are the fruit and seed of morally good acts; they dispose all the powers of the human being for communion with divine love.”
(CCC #1804)
Being a good human requires stability of disposition and purposefulness in efforts, and we are responsible for teaching that as we nurture our children. We do that by stabilizing our children’s emotional and spiritual foundation through the daily practice of virtue.
We often say children look or act just like their parents. It stands to reason since parents passively and actively imprint their image on their children. Just think what can happen in our vocation when we allow our heavenly Father to imprint HIS image first on us! We then bear witness to the Lord’s desires for our children in our motivations and behaviors. We impress upon our children godly character: a flourishing human, stabilized in who they are, who knows who they belong to, and who knows their purpose.
God created man in orderly fashion, so must he
also restore him in orderly fashion… An example [of virtue] is all-efficacious when
it both invites to the summit of virtue and shows the way there.
~St. Bonaventure
Over the next several months, we will consider training our children in virtue by effectively modeling and teaching it daily in family life. By way of reminder, let’s recall the four cardinal virtues (cardinal because human virtue hinges on the pursuit of them). Like the roots of a tree, prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance anchor our soul in good moral conscience. As the soul strengthens, chastity, moderation, charity, diligence, patience, kindness and humility form our behavior.
First, let’s consider prudence. The Sacred Scriptures teach that “by wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established” (Prv 24:3). Prudence is the ability to perceive the right course of action as we establish our soul in virtue. Let’s consider some bricks to build prudence in our children’s souls.
Learning to make good decisions in relationships sets our children up for the inevitable truckload of bad choices they’ll be exposed to in life. We can strengthen their prudence by guiding them in self-reflection when a wrong choice has been made. What do you think you could have done differently in that conflict? Let’s consider some alternative actions you could take next time.
If your child has a problematic relationship with a sibling or friend, help them to consider the other’s viewpoint instead of running off the rails with their emotions. Learning to think before we speak is just a good life skill for all of us! Here are some helpful questions to ask.
Let’s think of all the stuff you like about so and so. What don’t you like about so and so? Is the relationship important enough to you to change the way you play/relate with them?
What we are teaching our children to do is to be circumspect (a virtue closely related to prudence) rather than inconsiderate of others. Future friends and spouses will rise up and bless you for modeling this to them!
Common sense is another meaning for prudence; it helps to keep life in order (prudence and proper order are kin to each other). Good activities for us to engage in with them are playing games that require decision-making and learning to be good sports, which a prudent person always strives to be. Working on projects together that require following instructions teaches them to seek knowledge to do a job well; this trains them in humility to accept authority and instruction. Future teachers and employers will rise up and bless you for teaching this to them.
Heavenly Father, endow us with your virtue as we train our children to be good humans!
