By Laurie Stiegelmeier
The world is full of survivors of trauma at the hands of others; statistics show one in four women and one in six men are victims of sexual abuse. Survivors often silently carry feelings of isolation, shame and distrust. However, some people are able to thrive after surviving the worst that others do to them. They are able, with God’s help, to use their pain for the good of others.
Henri Nouwen, a Dutch priest wrote, “Nobody escapes being wounded … When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”
In the inaugural episode of “The Good Life” podcast, guest Jo Vitek told host Chris Motz that Jesus wasn’t embarrassed by what someone else did to him. He came back showing his wounds, and he wants us to share our wounds and failings openly for his glory and to bring others to him.
Perhaps that was one insight behind Jo’s nonprofit organization, Divine Providence of South Dakota. Its mission is “leading people, especially those wounded by child sexual abuse and sexual assault, into a thriving relationship with Jesus Christ, and strengthening local churches in northeast South Dakota.”
The ministry, staffed by volunteers “who have been there,” has four parts:
- Hope, Healing and Hoof Prints is held throughout the year at Joy Ranch near Watertown. Horses and other survivors help children, teens and college students heal after childhood sexual abuse.
- Hope in God, for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Among various activities, writing is valuable and four books have been published. “Writing and sharing their experiences allows survivors to own their story rather than their story owning them. With God and through his grace, they are able to reframe and make it something positive,” Jo said.
- Pulpit Supply assists protestant churches in northeast South Dakota by filling in for pastors as needed.
- Providence Solutions provides strategic planning and analysis of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats for churches and nonprofits in northeast South Dakota.
“It’s all about building God’s kingdom; it’s lifelong missionary discipleship through God’s love,” Jo said on “The Good Life.”
Jo was wounded early in life. When she was 4, an uncle began sexually abusing her, continuing until his death when she was 9. A year later, she disclosed the abuse, but her father couldn’t believe her.
“I don’t know what hurt worse: the abuse or my father’s unbelief,” Jo said. “It caused a deep, bleeding wound in my heart for many years.”
But God was caring for her and reached out through a friend who invited her to youth group at the Methodist church. “It was the best thing ever; it became my second home. It was God reaching out, God saving me and keeping me from harm’s way,” she said to Chris.
Jo was raised in the Southern Baptist Church in her hometown of Columbus, Georgia, where her father was a deacon, but due to her positive experiences in the Methodist youth group, she joined that church and gave her life to God. At age 15, she felt God calling her to ministry, but while pursuing that path, three major incidents occurred that crushed her faith.
She became promiscuous. Pregnant at 19, Jo was embarrassed, ashamed and afraid to tell anyone, especially her parents. A trusted friend knew; her advice was to think of her future and how a child might hold her back. So, in 1977, Jo had an abortion, which she describes as very detrimental. It ushered in her 20s, a “lost time” in her life when she felt she had fallen from God’s grace. On the podcast “Conversations With Bishop DeGrood,” she said that for years, every time she vacuumed her house, she broke down and cried because it triggered memories of the abortion.
Also in 1977, Jo had gone into law enforcement in Columbus, Georgia. She describes herself as legal—a good cop—but certainly not moral. At some point during her career, in great emotional turmoil, she pulled her squad car onto a gravel road at 3 a.m., put her revolver into her mouth, and tried to pull the trigger. In that moment, she heard a very small, quiet voice say, “I know everything Jo, and I love you.”
Jo had been angry at God and stopped going to church, but she recognized the voice.
“I knew who it was,” she told Chris and fervently continued. “God never gives up on us no matter how far we get from him. No matter how far we go away from him, he continues to pursue us. That’s what he did that night—he pursued me. And I had the realization that no matter what someone had done to me and that no matter what I have done, God pursues us and loves us anyway.”
This was the beginning of what she describes as her crawl back to God. At 35, Jo married a man who imaged God’s love—he knew all her failings and faults and loved her despite them. She joined him in the Catholic Church where she says she met lots and lots of priests and nuns who were so compassionate and gentle. They helped her work through her brokenness. “It’s a process because we’re journeying back to the Father,” she told Chris.
During the years of personal struggle, Jo’s law enforcement career had been advancing. On “Conversations,” she told Bishop DeGrood it was the best thing in her life; relationships didn’t make sense to her, but her job always did.
After 12 years in Georgia and 17 in Florida, she became the first female police chief in Watertown. She created and built the law enforcement program at Lake Area Tech. Attorney General Marty Jackley appointed her to serve on the South Dakota Law Enforcement Association. She told Chris that God gave her a tremendous opportunity and she is very, very blessed to make a difference.
Jo compares her 40 years in law enforcement to Moses’ 40 years in the desert. “Moses did two stints in the desert, and it was the first one that prepared him for what God had in store for him next,” she said. She saw things during her career that helped shift her focus from herself to others and prepared her for the work she is doing now.
“I thought God brought me to South Dakota to be the police chief. That wasn’t it at all,” Jo said. “He brought me to South Dakota to do the work we’re doing today and that is to help people, especially those wounded by childhood sexual abuse.”
Jo desires to bring others healing and the knowledge of how loved they are by God. She wants everyone to know that if they’ve done anything they’re ashamed of, there’s forgiveness and love, that there is nothing we can do that will separate us from the love of God through Jesus Christ.
To anyone who is struggling from sexual abuse, considering an abortion, or suicide, Jo said on “The Good Life,” “Pause. Pray. Call me. God loves you like crazy and he’ll make a way—he always does.”
Go to sfcatholic.org to view “The Good Life, Walking the Road of Faith and Trust with Jo Vitek,” and “Conversations with Bishop DeGrood, Jo Vitek’s Story.”
Contact Divine Providence of South Dakota at 605-880-6201 or divineprovidencesd.com.
Writer callout: Laura Melius is a freelance writer and DRE at All Saints Parish in Mellette. She has a degree in English education and a certificate of Catholic theology and catechesis.
