We know that abortion kills babies. But sometimes we forget how much it hurts women, men and families. And with more than 44-million children lost to abortion in the past 30 years, there are millions of mothers and families enduring the lasting effects of abortion decisions, including:
• Low self-esteem
• Grief (mild to profound)
• Depression (sometimes to the point of suicidal thoughts and attempts)
• A sense of alienation from family and friends
• A feeling of being ‘numb,’ not able to feel joy from activities that used to be pleasurable
• Isolating self from others to avoid discussing the abortion experience with them
• Guilt and shame
• Difficulty concentrating
• Anger toward self, or the child’s father, or others involved in the abortion decision
• Sleep disorders
• Abortion-related nightmares, flashbacks or even sounds of a baby crying
• Alcohol and drug problems, to dull the sorrow
• Desire for a ‘replacement’ baby
• Anniversary reactions of grief or depression on the date of the abortion or the baby’s expected due date
• Problems bonding with her other children (being over-protective but emotionally distant)
• Fear that God will punish her, or is punishing her.
These affects are largely ignored by the general public, and completely denied by pro-abortion organizations, which claim that an abortion is no different than other surgical procedures. Friends and family who see their loved ones suffering offer reassurances that the choice to have an abortion was the “right” thing to do. Therefore, many women are led to believe that their suffering is abnormal, adding to their grief and feelings of hopelessness. Those who come to terms with the reality of their decision feel they have committed “the unforgivable sin.” All of these things lead to despair – feeling as if there is no where to turn. But there is.
While the Catholic Church was educating people about these adverse effects even before the 1973 Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion in the United States, one of the Church’s formal abortion healing responses began in 1984 when Vickie Thorn founded Project Rachel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Project Rachel finds its source of power in scripture: “In Ramah is heard the sound of moaning, of bitter weeping. Rachel mourns her children, she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more. Thus says the Lord: Cease your cries of mourning, wipe the tears from your eyes. The sorrow you have shown shall have its reward. There is hope for your future.” Jeremiah 31:15-1.
In October 1999, the Diocese of Sioux Falls, with the support and leadership of Bishop Robert Carlson, initiated Project Rachel in our state. The counselors of Catholic Family Services and numerous priests have been trained in Project Rachel and are available to help start the healing process for those hurting from an abortion experience.
Abortion is a loss that must be grieved before healing can occur. And a significant part of the healing process is understanding and accepting God’s unconditional love and forgiveness. For many, this understanding and acceptance does not come easy, especially for those who have lived with the guilt and grief for thirty or forty years. As one woman put it, “I don’t know if I will ever be free of the sorrow which has become a deep ache inside of me, and it frightens me to imagine having to carry this pain all through my life...Abortion is a dark place. An enormous emptiness.”
If you or someone you love is suffering because of an abortion, we invite you to begin the journey towards healing. Take the step and contact the Catholic Family Services Office nearest you. (See page 24 for a listing.)
If you know someone who has experienced the loss of a child through abortion, do not take him or her at their word when they tell you they are “fine.” A wound deep in their heart is undoubtedly there. Reach out to them with the gift of healing.